Saturday, December 11, 2010

You Can't Get Him By Spreading Your Legs...

“I did it because I wanted him to like me.”

Hold up, wait, what? Rewind.

“I did it because I wanted him to like me.”

The above statement is one that appalls me, has me disappointed and disturbed. More so because of how common it is said rather than the actual context of the statement. Too many girls have the belief that they can have sex with a guy and win his affection, his love, his time—him.

Some girls have sex and don’t enjoy it. They don’t come. No orgasm. No o r g a s m. And they’re okay with it. This appalls me. I thought it was an exaggerated urban myth, a legend that was a figment of some people’s imaginations. I thought sex was equivalent of orgasm. Meaning, I thought that if you had sex then you were supposed to come, at least once but hopefully three or four times. I was naïve, I know. It wasn’t that I thought that all sex was good; I just thought that most girls went in with the expectation that it was going to be good.

But there are girls, too many girls, who have sex with guys and don’t even consider it. Can you believe?

Would you eat a Big Mac from McDonalds—all 485 calories and 22 grams of fat, risk raising your blood pressure, cholesterol, etc.—if you didn’t at least like it? Hell no. It would be an extinct indulgence, an ancient thought. So, if you’re going to risk getting pregnant (unless you have a medical condition that prevents you from conceiving or you have your tubes tied) and being transmitted a STD why wouldn’t you make sure it was f**king worth it? Disclaimer: if you don’t come, it’s not worth it.

I’ve had friends complain to me afterwards that it didn’t feel good. Okay, well first times with someone can be awkward. But then they tell me that they did it again and it didn’t feel good. Sometimes there’s a third, fourth and even fifth time. That’s when I get revolted, sick to my stomach, bemused. I can’t fathom what has to be going through someone’s mind to do something a third, fourth and even fifth time after the first and second times were equally, or perhaps even more, displeasing? It totally and completely baffles me. How do you continue to allow some dude to take something from you when you are getting nothing back, not even the satisfaction of giving it to him? Do you not have more self-respect, self-worth than that? Do you not value your own fulfillment and pleasure than that? Do you even care?

I even hear that some girls have sex when the guy doesn’t even like her; they just want to do something to get him to like her. If he doesn’t like you, and you’re offering him your stuff on a platter, then he’s going to use you for the sex. Nothing wrong with that, it’s only fair, agreed?

But come on, let’s be realistic. If you’re having sex with someone who doesn’t like you back, or in the same way that you like him, then it’s going to f e e l like it. It’s going to feel like a reproductive process rather than a pleasurable one. It’s going to hurt!

The same applies to the story of the girl who has this guy chasing after her, a guy who she isn’t attracted to and doesn’t even like, that she just has sex with to get it over with so he can stop bothering her. Dry sex is as painful as it sounds so why put yourself through it?

Honey, he will n e v e r like you because you spread your legs for him. He will (most likely) like your pu**y.

No guy has sex with a girl to get her to like him so why have sex with him to get him to like you?

I think that too many girls have forgotten that sex is supposed to be a treat, a pleasurable experience. It’s supposed to feel good. Better than good. Nirvana-esque. Too many girls  see sex as a chore, drudgery. It’s a shame.

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