You Can't Get Him By Spreading Your Legs...

“I did it because I wanted him to like me.”

Hold up, wait, what? Rewind.

Again…

“I did it because I wanted him to like me.”

The above statement is one that appalls me, has me disappointed and disturbed. More so because of how common it is said rather than the actual context of the statement. Too many girls have the belief that they can have sex with a guy and win his affection, his love, his time—him.

Some girls have sex and don’t enjoy it. They don’t come. No orgasm. No o r g a s m. And they’re okay with it. This appalls me. I thought it was an exaggerated urban myth, a legend that was a figment of some people’s imaginations. I thought sex was equivalent of orgasm. Meaning, I thought that if you had sex then you were supposed to come, at least once but hopefully three or four times. I was naïve, I know. It wasn’t that I thought that all sex was good; I just thought that most girls went in with the expectation that it was going to be good.

But there are girls, too many girls, who have sex with guys and don’t even consider it. Can you believe?

Would you eat a Big Mac from McDonalds—all 485 calories and 22 grams of fat, risk raising your blood pressure, cholesterol, etc.—if you didn’t at least like it? Hell no. It would be an extinct indulgence, an ancient thought. So, if you’re going to risk getting pregnant (unless you have a medical condition that prevents you from conceiving or you have your tubes tied) and being transmitted a STD why wouldn’t you make sure it was f**king worth it? Disclaimer: if you don’t come, it’s not worth it.

I’ve had friends complain to me afterwards that it didn’t feel good. Okay, well first times with someone can be awkward. But then they tell me that they did it again and it didn’t feel good. Sometimes there’s a third, fourth and even fifth time. That’s when I get revolted, sick to my stomach, bemused. I can’t fathom what has to be going through someone’s mind to do something a third, fourth and even fifth time after the first and second times were equally, or perhaps even more, displeasing? It totally and completely baffles me. How do you continue to allow some dude to take something from you when you are getting nothing back, not even the satisfaction of giving it to him? Do you not have more self-respect, self-worth than that? Do you not value your own fulfillment and pleasure than that? Do you even care?

I even hear that some girls have sex when the guy doesn’t even like her; they just want to do something to get him to like her. If he doesn’t like you, and you’re offering him your stuff on a platter, then he’s going to use you for the sex. Nothing wrong with that, it’s only fair, agreed?

But come on, let’s be realistic. If you’re having sex with someone who doesn’t like you back, or in the same way that you like him, then it’s going to f e e l like it. It’s going to feel like a reproductive process rather than a pleasurable one. It’s going to hurt!

The same applies to the story of the girl who has this guy chasing after her, a guy who she isn’t attracted to and doesn’t even like, that she just has sex with to get it over with so he can stop bothering her. Dry sex is as painful as it sounds so why put yourself through it?

Honey, he will n e v e r like you because you spread your legs for him. He will (most likely) like your pu**y.

No guy has sex with a girl to get her to like him so why have sex with him to get him to like you?

I think that too many girls have forgotten that sex is supposed to be a treat, a pleasurable experience. It’s supposed to feel good. Better than good. Nirvana-esque. Too many girls  see sex as a chore, drudgery. It’s a shame.

ASB,

xoxxo

Are You Feeling The Rush?

I'm not. 


I don't like the orange. The original coloring and shot of Beyonce is much better to me.


I'm still gonna buy it as soon as it hits shelves though.

ASB,

xoxxo

We All Want To Know, "Was That Okay?"

Beautifully, beautifully said.

Just Thought This Was Sweet

a postcard sent from me to my mother when I was eight

Don't Be Afraid

I'm all about thigh-high splits, draping fabrics, bustiers, garter belts and towering platforms without compromising simplicity, unpretentiousness or minimalism.

I'm not afraid to be sexy, to be provocative. What's the fun in not being sexy?

ASB,

xoxxo

A Body Issue...

I hate it when other women look at my body, sweat it and think that I'm lucky. I hate it when think i have it easy or something. Like I'm born like this. Luck is a state of mind and nothing worth anything is easy. 

This carved stomach, tiny waist, sculpted arms and sculpted legs ain't luck, bitch. It work. Pure, hard work. It's sweat. It's tears. It's pain. Good pain. Pain that makes you cry and laugh at the same time. Pain that takes over your mind, body and soul. It's pain that's worth going through. 

A body like this isn't perfect and it doesn't come without a fight. 

If you like it, if you want it then work for it. Get ready to fight. Warrior mode. No excuses, those are for lazy people.

ASB,

xoxxo

Let's Talk Sexy

Was there ever a (fictional) man sexier than Brad Pitt in Troy?

I know, if there ever was a silliest question, it was that one. I digress.

Troy is a movie that I can watch on MUTE and still be beyond entertained by the end—not only is it a perfect blend of history, love, and fashion (I lust after the gladiator boots they wore to pair with a maxi dress, of course Grecian-inspired)—from Brad Pitt to Orlando Bloom to Eric Bana, it's a carnal feast for the eyes in every which way. But there was something intoxicating about Achilles.

He stomped around in body-conscious armor, (by the way, I would totally rock the piece of armor that they wore on their arms to spice up an outfit!) his blond hair never ceased to stop blowing in the wind and he fought like a it was second nature—for God's sake, the man had on a skirt (of varying lengths) for the entire length of the film. Thighs made out of steel, killer instinct like a lion and those eyes. That savage squint of a warrior that lived in his piercing baby blue eyes. But those aren't nearly the only reasons why he's got to be one of the sexiest characters of all time. 

There wasn't a single moment of the movie (I've seen and analyzed it numerous times) where I didn't believe he was Achilles. He took this war hero from a myth to a fantasy. His moxie—blatant defiance, refusal to just follow some old fool's rules and unwavering opposition had my breaths flickering in and out of existence like fireflies. He made killing glorious, skirts virile and our fantasies to see his ass—excuse the French—come true.

Can someone pass me a glass of water, please? It's a little hot in here, no?

ASB,

xoxxo

I Digress...

It really bothers me when some people treat other people like they are inferior to them. Mutherf**ker, we all got the same color blood. Just because you're on top it doesn't mean you should spit on everyone beneath you. Who do you think is holding you up?

Even if you hate someone, they still deserve your respect. You don't have to love your competitors but always show them respect. You might need them one day.

Don't hate people who hate you. Love them. Love conquers all.

ASB,

xoxxo

What's Your Biggest Fear?

Sometimes I feel like I have nothing. The scary part is that my ‘nothing’ is someone’s everything. So then I feel guilty for feeling like I have nothing because in fact I must have something since these other people want what I have. What I think as a life full of boredom, constraint and colorlessness is ultimate freedom, opportunity—Nirvana-like happiness to someone else. How come I can’t be satisfied with what I have, with what I’ve been given? Why do I want more? Am I greedy? Or ambitious? Obviously I’ve been given it for a reason. But what’s the reason? Why is it so hard to find this reason? I want to appreciate what I have because it can be taken from me at any second, blink of an eye.

I’m not happy. I remember a time when I was, wonder if I will ever make it there again to that soft, comforting spot. I have hope but I have my doubts because I know that there are people who are ‘chosen’. Some people are blessed with gifts, talents, special skills and abilities, and while I can identify with that, I don’t think I was graced with the blessing of complete happiness. Part of me doesn’t believe that that is a place I can reach.

Some people are so happy that it scares them. They’re so happy and everything’s happening for them, they’re living out their dreams and it’s scary because they know how rare that it is. One thing after another after another keeps on happening for them, the way they want it, and it’s mind-boggling because it’s them. They were picked to live that life over billions of others. Why, they wonder. But they’ll never comprehend it.

I’ve been gifted, chosen for certain things, but sometimes I fear that I will not be given the chance to live out my dream (s). I used to be naïve and foolishly believe that everyone got the chance, their chance to live out their dreams. But then I grew up and I realized that not everyone gets to wake up with a smile every morning, too happy to be tired. What if I’m not one of those ‘chosen’ ones?

That’s my biggest fear. What's yours?

ASB,

xoxxo

About Face

This look on Alicia Keys is one of my favorites, hands down. For some odd reason, she usually piles on the foundation and makeup that with such a naturally beautiful face and ethereal features, she doesn't have to. I love that she had the courage to step out on the red carpet and in the spotlight sans her normal highlights in the corners of the eyes, heavily glossed lips, false eyelashes and everything else. The bare nails and simple black dress oozing of minimalism only add to the au naturel look. Oh and course the hair. Digging the swirl. She looks so beautiful, truly has never looked better.

ASB,

xoxxo